This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

I wish our origin story was larger than life, a Star Wars level epic.  Instead, it began with a text.  Except this message was not of the, “Hi, how’s it going?  This is me letting the world know I’m alive,” variety.  Instead it planted an idea; it was a call to action.  An innocent idea, the kind which read, “I think we most definitely need to start some kind of a low level sports/scathing commentary blog.  We are witty.”  These types of texts are exchanged every hour, nothing comes from it, kind of like conversations exchanged between inebriated friends.  Innocent ideas, that’s all they are, right?  However, we know ideas are anything but innocent.

So here we are now, past the texts, e-mails, and initial steps.  We have our introduction, the beginning of a blog from a simple text.  I would like to tell you that we have everything figured out.  I wish I could promise that all of our weekly posts will be Earth shattering and cause eye balls to fall out because of awesome.  I cannot, all I can promise is we will work hard on all our content, only post the work we believe to be worthy, and above all else stay true to who we are and give our honest views and opinions.  I hope people will like it.

One of the main reasons why I am so excited about this project is because of my partner in crime:  Nicole.  At first glance people openly question how we are friends.  I cannot blame them, our specific interests vary considerably.  She follows the NHL as religiously as I follow the NBA.  For some reason her go to genre of music is country.  While, the top three most played songs on my iPod are two Frank Ocean songs (here and here) and The Recipe by Kendrick Lamar.  She’s the most comfortable in a pair of Lulu’s and I do not even own a pair of sweats.  However, the things we enjoy, we are passionate about and not afraid to rant to the other about, things which frustrate us or make us giddy.  We understand that the things we are interested in do not define who we are.  We may not see eye to eye on everything but we both welcome the other’s point of view.  I know I trust her and can promise our readers that her posts will be the perfect blend of insight/sarcasm/mashed up words.  I look forward to cultivating our idea which started as nothing more than a text message.  Maybe our lives would be easier if we just laughed it off but here we are.  If we just laughed it off maybe we would be able to have nice things but where’s the fun in that?

Take it away Nicole.

–          Irving Chong

We are stubborn. You need to know this about us. It’s beyond crucial to what we hope to make happen with this blog business. We are stubborn- everything that we throw out into the world must pass the Irving Test and the Nicole Test. If it doesn’t, it dies in our drafts folder (which I can promise will be extensive). The Irving Test, put forth and lived every second by one of my favourite people, Irving Chong, is an exercise in creativity, passion, and quality- it’s like a Central Scouting Combine for articles. Is there an embarrassing 30 second Wingate-style power output plummet, where this article ends up conked out on the floor?  Does it have enough juice, enough character and substance, to put up an impressive VO2max? What about body fat percentage- is this post packing too many Big Macs worth of rant-filled poundage? Is this article forever relegated to the AHL/drafts folder, or with a little extra love and some P90X (watch this with a straight face. Dare you), can it find a home on our blog? The Irving Test challenges me to keep my work snappy, unique, lovingly obsessive, and most of all, smart.

The Nicole Test? Now that’s a different story. While equally stubborn, the Nicole Test is far more obsessed with consistency and organization. I blame this completely on my inner grad student achievement complex/stress. The Irving Test is genuine and imaginative. The Nicole Test is a little more neurotic. Like Irving said, we get asked all the time how we are friends. Irving enjoys the occasional blueberry vodka and coke, while I appreciate a chilly craft beer (this continually baffles bartenders. Every. Single. Time). He breaks out his red skinny jeans whenever possible. I avoid real pants unless it is absolutely socially required. Irving eats a full first and second dinner, while I just had popcorn for single dinner. He reads comic books, I read philosophy. He slays vanity workouts and hot yoga, while I ugly sweat and hyperventilate at spin class. He likes Herschel, I’m a kate spade girl. I just put on wool socks. I’m not sure Irving appreciates the value of thermal clothing. On a Tuesday night I’m pouring a glass of wine, he’s reaching for the chocolate milk. He lives in a huge city, I live on an island. Irving challenges me to confidently shove my ideas/thoughts/opinions/articles out to the world, I try to keep our work manageable. We disagree constantly. We are top notch pals. We balance each other out. It works and I hope this blog does too.

We are stubborn. It’s why we can’t have nice things. It’s why we are sticking it out to show you our honest, impassioned, sometimes awkward or ranty, but always test-acing content.

I’d be really happy if you gave us a chance.

–          Nicole