I Suck at Being Canadian: The Last Time the Miami Heat Lost, Jarome Iginla was a Flame

Big sports night last night.  The Chicago Bulls beat the Miami Heat to end their 27 game winning streak.  However, something “bigger” happened in hockey: Jarome Iginla finally got traded by the Calgary Flames. It started with Nicole informing me of the initial trade – two and a half hours later, here’s what happened.

Note:  The order of texts received and sent are kept the same.  Enjoy.

Nicole:  Heeeees goooooooooone.  Finally.

Irving:  Miami’s streaks over.

Irving:  Streak over > Iggy.

Nicole:  Valid.

Nicole:  What gets the Canada SC headline tonight?

Irving:  The MTL/Boston game which leads into the Iggy trade, which then gets thrown to the Flames/Aves game.

Nicole:  No mention of Miami at all?

Nicole:  The first round pick is conditional, if Iginla resigns.  This trade is garbage.

Irving:  Those 3 things first.

Irving:  Then breakdown of the trade.

Irving:  Then Miami’s streak.

Nicole:  You are probs right.  I’ll let you know.

Irving:  Of course I could be wrong because there hasn’t been a precedent for this streak since I can remember.

Irving:  Yes, Houston won 22 games but that team didn’t have Lebron James on it.

Nicole:  I think the streak is big news.

Irving:  It’s huge news and they lost to Chicago without D-Rose.

Nicole:  But Iginla is not just a player, he’s a notable beloved Canadian.

Nicole:  This trade is awful.  Feaster, come on.

Irving:  That’s why I say for TSN, Miami doesn’t get mentioned first.

Irving:  It goes Iggy trade, trade talk, then throws to “Both Boston and Calgary were in action tonight…”

Nicole:  ITS A CONDITIONAL FIRST ROUNDER.  They traded their captain for two prospects.

Irving:  Look as much as I want to say Miami’s streak gets mentioned, it is hockey season.

Nicole:  We’ve moved on from Miami and are now absorbing how this solidifies Flames management as worst in the league.

Irving:  See!  Miami just won 27 straight games.

Nicole:  That’s in the past.

Irving:  When’s the last time a team won 27 straight?  In any sport?  Don’t say Chicago and their point streak.  I’m talking about wins.


Irving:  Flames management sucks, this isn’t news.  It’s like the weatherman saying, “The sun will rise tomorrow.”

Nicole:  True.

Irving:  Also a segment they’ll run on TSN for this:  “What else could they have gotten for him?

Nicole:  Obvi.

Nicole:  Like say, A DRAFT PICK.

Irving:  This infuriates me to no end, always get a draft pick.

Nicole:  A solid one.  Not a conditional one.  That’s garbage.

Irving:  Did Boston have draft picks to give though?  Solid ones?

Nicole:  Yes.  Their first rounder this year.  It’s in the deal as conditional if Iginla resigns.

Irving:  What?

Irving:  The Flames should’ve said, “We’re giving you the face of our franchise.  We get a draft pick.”

Nicole:  Ridiculous right?

Nicole:  This trade is not great.

Nicole:  I almost feel sadness for Flames fans.

Irving:  I know he’s 35 but this is Jarome Iginla.  He’s not washed up, he’s playing with no help.  He’s a legit asset.

Nicole:  I seriously should be a GM.  Like, I don’t know why I’m not.  And I agree, Iginla still has something to give.

Nicole:  SC leads with trade.


Irving:  That wasn’t 8 years ago.


Nicole:  Outrageous.

Irving:  I don’t know a lot about hockey BUT you’re not on the ice/field/court in that type of moment if you’re washed up.

Nicole:  No, he’s not washed up.  At all.  He’s a skilled guy.  This trade is ugly.

Irving:  Does Calgary play Boston this year?

Nicole:  No.

Irving:  Too bad, I’d want him to light ’em up.

Nicole:  Betcha Bouwmeester is next to go.  Deadline day.

Irving:  What’s his contract like?

Irving:  Is it still horrocious?

Irving:  Aka will anyone take it on?

Nicole:  And I wouldn’t say Kiprusoff is off the table.

Irving:  Didn’t Kipper come out and say this morning that he didn’t want to go anywhere?

Nicole:  Bouwmeester has one year left at 6.6 million.  So not repulsive trade wise.

Nicole:  And Kipper did, but he has no protection in his contract.  So what he says is irrelevant.

Irving:  It feels like Bouwmeester’s contract still has seven years left on it.

Nicole:  Because he’s a plug.

Irving:  Is Kipper even good still?  Is his football equivalent, “Solid back up QB?”

Nicole:  He’s a starter on a lousy team.  That’s perfect for him.

Irving:  Oh good, so he’s Matt Hasselback.

Nicole:  When the Flames fans chant, “Iggy,” I think I almost feel sympathy?

Nicole:  Exactly.

Irving:  I like how instead of a statement that’s a question.

Irving:  When is the Streak mentioned?  I’m guessing twenty minutes in.

Nicole:  I’m unclear on this emotion.  I want to gloat, but it’s just so sad.

Nicole:  It was mentioned in the opener.

Irving:  It doesn’t count until they show the highlights.

Nicole:  Twice now.  Jay’s like, “We are going to get to Miami.”  That’s huge, I promise.

Irving:  Good.  After all, they only won 27 games in a row.  The last time they lost was on Feb.1st.

Nicole:  Valid, valid.

Nicole:  Respect where respect is due.

Nicole:  The prospects are described as “A possible second line center and a 5th or 6th D-man.”

Irving:  Wow.

Irving:  Wait, what?

Nicole:  Yep.

Nicole:  Go Flames.

Irving:  Did Flames management look at what the Raptors got for Vince Carter and say to themselves, “We can do worse.”

Nicole:  That’s a possibility.

Irving:  Is Boston’s GM in Calgary right now?  Did they go for drinks with Feaster and spike his drinks?

Irving:  If you were playing NHL 2013 and tried to put the trade through the game would laugh and reject it.

Irving:  The game would say, “Sorry but I need a real draft pick and top line prospects.”

Nicole:  Just ridiculous.  I can’t even.

Nicole:  This is not how you rebuild.

Irving:  This is how you kill your franchise for a decade.

Nicole:  Awful.

Irving:  So basically what you’re saying is that my hockey fan love should be a free agent at the end of this season?

Nicole:  YES.

Irving:  Not like I was ever a hardcore Flames fan to begin with.

Nicole:  Ugh.

Nicole:  14 minutes to the streak.

Nicole:  But a long package on it for basketball.

Irving:  “For basketball.”  My sports life in Canada in a nutshell.

Nicole:  Yep.

Nicole:  At least it trumped Raptors highlights.

Irving:  It’s because the Raps didn’t win.



Irving:  WHAT?!?!?!

Nicole:  And they got a real first round pick.

Irving:  DEAD.

Nicole:  I love this for Iginla.

Nicole:  This makes me infinitely happier.

Nicole:  TSN was totally wrong though.  Whoa.

Irving:  The streak’s dead tomorrow.

Irving:  It’s getting pushed back to 30 minutes.

Nicole:  I like this for Pitt.  As a more mature player, he gets to learn from Iginla as he goes out.  Just like he did from Lemiuex.  Crosby will have learned from the very best teachers.

Irving:  *Mic Drop*

Irving:  What did Pitt give up?

Nicole:  Two prospects and a solid first round pick.

Nicole:  I love this for Iginla.  He gets to mold the next Captain Canada.

Nicole:  I would love for Jarome to win a cup with Crosby.

Nicole:  Just LOVE.

Irving:  Related news:  My FB is broken all I see is “Iggy go win a Cup.”

Nicole:  That’s because we all love Crosby.  It varies from open love to secret love, but we all love Crosby.

Irving:  Every Flames fan wants to kick you in the shin right now.

Nicole:  I’m not wrong.

Nicole:  They would LOVE Crosby to pass Iginla the Cup.

Nicole:  I would shed hockey tears in that moment.  It’s like Sakic and Bourque.

Irving:  Is this your final comment?  Just going to ignore that I said, “Iggy go get a Cup” not, “Sid go get another”?

Nicole:  Yes.

Nicole:  My Crosby love flies free.

Irving:  With an undercurrent of Flames hate.

Nicole:  Obviously.

Nicole:  Now I can cheer openly for Iginla.

Nicole:  I like this so much more than Boston.

Irving: Pitt is infinitely better than Boston.

Nicole:  Crosby hands Iginla the Cup.  Canada cries happy tears.  It will be beautiful.

Irving:  If they win this year, does Iggy retire?

Nicole:  Yes, to be a dad.

Irving:  That’d be nice.

Nicole:  This has the potential to be a PERFECT story.

Nicole:  I want a live camera on Sid when he reads the text tomorrow morning.


Irving:  He has to know already.

Irving:  Iggy already called.

Nicole:  Not necessarily.  2am there.  Do they play tomorrow?

Nicole:  Iggy and Sid have a direct line like the Russia-USA line.

Irving:  I’m possibly the worst person to ask that question.

Irving:  And they play Winnipeg tomorrow – in Pitt.

Nicole:  So two hours change.  Depends on how early the deal was done.

Irving:  Then they play Saturday in Pitt against the Islanders.  Debut for Iggy for sure.

Nicole:  For his GM to tell him.

Nicole:  This is SO EXCITING.

Nicole:  Who can forget Crosby yelling, “IGGY,” for that pass, for that goal?

Irving:  Also that game on Saturday is at 1pm Eastern, terrible time slot.

Nicole:  Welcome to being the Islanders.

Irving:  BUT no March Madness that day.  Madness is tomorrow and Friday.

Nicole:  Valid.  Not a total loss.

Irving:  Still for us that’s a 10am start.

Nicole:  Yeah that’s a morning.

Nicole:  There are tweets straight up applauding Feaster for destroying the franchise.

Nicole:  It’s only going to get worse my little friends.

Irving:  What can you do?

Nicole:  Laugh.

Nicole:  I love this.

Nicole:  Final thought for tonight:  happiness.

Irving:  Final thought from me:  #Heat is still the number one trending thing on my Twitter.

Nicole:  #feastingonFeaster

Nicole:  Also #TSNoutsider

Irving:  I don’t have those.

Irving:  I have: #Heat, #Iginla, #thankyouiggy, #Flames, and #Feaster.

Nicole:  Ohhh our differences.

Nicole:  Do you at least appreciate Crosby-Iginla and the legacy of Team Canada and the Golden Goal?

We should all have the feeling Nicole is experiencing.

It’s Like I Have ESPN or Something – Nicole

I am just so happy-sad for Iginla right now. Even for  a complete non Flames fan, I grew up knowing Jarome was a class act and a fantastic role model.

I am thrilled for him to play with Crosby. I hope he loves it.

Irving Chong (@Irving_Chong) and Nicole (@_nicoliooo) are co-creators of This is Why we Can’t Have Nice Things even though it doesn’t make sense why they’re friends.


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